Assault has no biases, it's not limited to social class, occupation, sex, race, religion and it crosses all boundaries. Rape is a violent crime and changes the path of the victim forever. I pursued law enforcement because of what I had experienced. I took a moral oath to protect women and children and others who could not protect themselves. To be a voice, when they had none. But even with all the training under my belt, what happened three years ago on the night of February 26th in Pagosa Springs, spiraled my life into a place that I was blind in seeing the obvious. I understand now how it affected every choice I've made since that moment.
It's only when we open up and recognize that even when we want to be strong, refusing to be a "victim", and to seek the help that is out there, that is when the true healing begins. When we decide to trust and be vulnerable again, is when our inner light is restored. It's a challenging road, yet the enlightenment and freedom felt is worth it. You can force your mind to forget or overlook what happened, and you can force yourself to think that you are not affected, but ultimately you are only fooling yourself. Your body and psyche never forgets.
I refuse to be defined by the selfish, hurtful acts of others. I am a survivor of a horrific crime and it has taught me so much. For that I am fortunate. I believe that every experience in our life, negative and positive, is for the needs of our soul to grow and become more humane. I had compassion and empathy before, but now my supply and understanding is limitless. Abuse in any form is a crime against the soul. Say NOMORE. Stand up. Be heard for the people who no longer can be, for even as we "walk through the valley of the shadow of death, fear no evil, for You are with us; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort us", forever and ever, Amen!
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as a Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced or cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how straight the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
~William Ernest Henley