Sunday Drive

Feb 25, 2007
Current mood:contemplative

Bob Burton. I met Bob in the early afternoon at a trailhead along a Douglas County bike path. I had stepped out of my car and noticed that across the parking lot a man was taking out his 1975 Red, scuffed Schwinn road bike and commented on the fact that he was a lucky man to have been able to fit his bike in his car. Decked out in a North Face black down vest, thermal socks, pants, gloves and a helmet, Bob was the epitome of a seasoned Coloradian bike rider. We proceeded to walk down to the trail along Cherry Creek and engaged the conversation towards life. He is a stud! He's probably in his early 60's, married, three grown children that all do some type of intensive social work, an outcome obviously ordained by his natural compassion that emanated from him. We parted half an hour later after we had walked together telling brief stories from our lives and becoming fast friends in the moment, part of me saddened by the fact that I could not accept his invitation to ride with him out to Castlewood Canyon.


Castlewood Canyon



Earlier this morning, I had awakened with the impeding need to ride my mountain bike, after feeling the sun touch my cheek with it's warmth from a mean sleep, I decided that Castlewood Canyon would be perfect for an introspective day of hiking and later I would bike whatever trail was conveniently close by before the sun dropped. Realizing that I don't own a Columbia backpack, I found a backpack that Jordan used in 1^st grade and even though it had Scooby Doo on the flap, I packed it with bottled water, Muscle Milk, my bible, a book, a notebook, my sketch pad, some pencils, a plastic baggy with matches (just in case it fell in a creek……then thinking some more I added a few Wheat Thins to fill it), a small butcher's knife (just in case a cougar attacked me), a fur blanket (just in case I got lost and I was cold), two pair of socks, a ski mask, gloves, scarf(just in case I got lost and it got colder),  cocoa butter(for dry skin), 30SPF sunscreen(so I wouldn't get any more freckles) an apple(just in case I got lost for days, I wouldn't starve) and a bag of gummy bears( because if all was lost, they make me feel good when I eat them). Now……I was ready!! J

My bike had different ideas, it obviously didn't want to go out for a ride today, so for twenty minutes I tried to shove the darn thing into my friend's 4 door Black Infiniti Sedan, much to the entertainment of the guy across the parking lot who was polishing his three motorcycles. I tried it through the trunk. Through both of the side doors. Through the front passenger door…..hoping to get it to the back seat diagonally, all to no avail. I know Motorcycle man probably thought things I don't want to think of but after giving it my all, I surrendered to the idea that I need to buy a truck and took off without it.

Man, it was a beautiful day!!!! I was skipping church but my conscience excused it by telling me that my religion was in nature today and I most desperately needed to feel connected to something. These last two months have been the most challenging I've had in all aspects, all rolled into one, than the last five years put together. I have a lot of friends but few that I trust my deepest, darkest trials with and in my selfish independent pride, I rarely ask and in so doing, become incessantly neurotic and introverted. Without the children here, my nurturing abilities are suppressed, my loneliness magnified and it kills me. I still have been unable to walk into the boys room to unpack it as my heart bleeds with the image of them and their smells lingering on their pillows. My saving grace has always been in the serenity and simplicity of what God created and as I cruise south out of Parker with the sunroof open and the heater on at 85 degrees, I notice that the air only gets colder the closer to the canyon I get. I figured it was just because I was in the shade.

Castlewood Canyon is all snow and mud. Beautiful in its purity and yet way too chilly to even sit in the car without the heater cranked up. I contemplated for half an hour or so, didn't see anyone else venturing out so I guided the car out of the lot and back towards civilization. I thought about turning west at the crossroads and heading toward the rock at Castle Rock, but knew from past experience, that it would be below freezing once I got to the top and I didn't think all the arctic supplies in the Scooby Doo kit would be enough to handle the elements.

Hitting Parker, I was coming up on the gym I go to and hadn't utilized since I moved half a city closer to it a few weeks ago. I realized all too warily, that my backside had been expanding due to the lack of aerobic content in my life so I pulled in to appease the guilt. But, it just wasn't the same as my dream had had for the day, so after a trip on the treadmill and some serious abdominal exercises, I left. I thought a Fuji apple would be much better than the little Granny one that I had packed so I stopped in at the local grocery store that I use to haunt for almost two years.  I love this store! I always know someone whose working there,  and when your feeing like a gypsy lately, the familiarity of a face you have seen, even if only at the food market, brings a little grounding. I ran into my friend Tony, who has worked there since I moved to Parker and we lived in the same apartment complex. The last time we saw each other was last summer on the bike trail, the day before I moved away......it was comforting to see him, knowing that there really is predictablity and that some things are good if they don't change. I went and picked up my big, juicy Fuji apple and headed over to the Sprint store to change my Aspen number to a local one, on the advise of a potential employer.  As sentimental as that phone number is to me, I was surprised at the ease in changing it, I didn't even cry. I left eating my apple, a new phone number, picture mail and a deep seeded longing to be outside.

That's when I drove over to Cottonwood and met Bob. I am grateful that my bike didn't make it because if it had, I never would have met him. I would have been off on my merry little way, never thinking twice about someone pulling their bike out of the back of their car. Bob was an investment stockbroker in his day, I told him that I have always been infatuated and curious with stocks but never had someone to teach me. He gave me six stock names that he has invested in for the last five years and that he, his family, and his sisters live off of the interest in which they have given him more than a fifty percent return. He says that by the time a person retires, they still have thirty wonderful years of living left and that you want to spend it enjoying and experiencing the quality of life that should be everyone's.

I walked after him until he rounded the bend under the highway and I could see him no more. I'll invest in those six stocks and meet Bob Burton again someday……somewhere........in the middle of nowhere…….exchanging impacting small life stories. I thought about him for the next hour as I made my way to Taco Bell. I really needed a Crunchy Taco Supreme. This did nothing for my guilt, but felt unbelievable for my soul so I walked back to my car and headed to the gym at my complex for another hour.

I gained a lot today but still felt the emptiness and confusion that I wanted to alleviate by drowning in the peacefulness of the wilderness. I need to escape. I need an angel to take my hand and sweep my spirit away to the mountains if only for a day. I want to forget the world and all of the weight it dictates. I want to set my soul free and linger outside the rigidity of life. I want my hairdresser not to cut my hair like Einstein's. And I promise, Denice, that I will work out every single night at the gym for the car show in March...... .......just not  tonight because I have a date with my bed and a book and my gummy bears.